Netflix documentaries have proven we love a good murder. We like getting down and dirty with the gory details; the who’s, why’s and where’s. But what about ‘how’? How did this person commit murder? What grisly methods did they use?
Here is a list of the top seven weirdest murder weapons ranging from the ‘okay I can kinda see how that works’ to the ‘I’m sorry they used what?!’
Number Seven: A Chess Board
You might now think that a chessboard is a pretty bizarre object to beat someone to death with. Especially considering they’re only on average about twice as thick as a normal piece of cardboard… but this was no ordinary, modern chessboard.
According to a 14th century Viking legend, two Norsemen, Faber and Sowden engaged in a “friendly” game of chess—using a heavy ancient chessboard and pieces made of stone.
Do you see where this is going?
Things swiftly turned from friendly to angry as testosterone and chess pieces began flying.
As all humans degenerate into five-year-olds when losing they began throwing pieces before Sowden, losing all sense of rationality completely, picked up the chessboard and bashed Faber over the head with it, killing him instantly.
Number Six: Stiletto Heel
We’ve all been there; your partner won’t shut up, you’re drunk and in a bad mood and soon heated words fly. Things escalate, people start screaming and crying, and soon you have no choice other than to stab them to death with the stiletto heel of your shoe.
I’m going to assume I lost you at some point around the stabbing.
But that’s exactly what Texan (of course) Ana Trujillo did in 2013 when her Swedish partner Alf Stefan Anderson and she got into a fight.
Well, it must have been a pretty bad one, because Trujillo stabbed him 25 times in the head with her 5-and-a-half-inch stiletto. Her claims of self-defence were ignored, although that it was a drunken argument goes a long way to explaining why someone stabs someone with a shoe.
Number Five: Prosthetic Leg
This one goes on this list for sheer determination.
In 2010, Debra Hewitt of Louisiana killed her boyfriend by beating him to death with a prosthetic leg. But, did I mention it was her own leg she used? That’s right, this woman detached her own leg and whilst standing on the other proceeded to beat her boyfriend to death with it.
If that wasn’t creepy or just plain crazy enough, it turns out her nickname was “Angel” leading to her being known as the “Angel of Death.” I don’t know about you, but the sheer force of will behind that is scary enough, although not quite as weird as being killed with an everyday item such as….
Number Four: A Dessert Spoon
I’m not talking about some novelty version of a dessert spoon or an ancient and heavy version like the chessboard. There’s no catch here; somebody died because another person hit them over the head with a regular, everyday spoon.
When Richard Clare escaped from a drug rehab centre in Hertfordshire in the early 2000s he immediately decided the most sensible course of action would be to chase down an old friend of his Timothy Magee and demand money from him.
When the disabled Magee refused, Clare, for reasons best known to himself, whacked Magee over the head with a dessert spoon. This sounds like something you might do whilst chastising an obstinate child, but in this case it ruptured an artery in the back of Magee’s head leading to fatal bleeding.
Be careful next time you eat ice cream kids, any spoon could be a murder weapon!
Number Three: An Umbrella
I’m obliged to mention that being British, the next on this list is my personal favourite. This next murder is so James Bond espionage-esque that I can’t help but love it. Throw in politics and finely dressed men carrying umbrellas, what more could a Brit want?
These guys weren’t British, but the murder took place in London, which is close enough.
The murder victim, Georgi Markov, was a Bulgarian Dissident who had made himself unpopular with politicians and communist supporters.
When two such supporters took revenge on Markov, they thought it was only fitting to do so on the birthday of one of his favourite targets – politician Todor Zhivkov.
As Markov was enjoying the fabulous British weather wandering across London Bridge, another man brushed past him, seemingly innocently nudging him with the tip of his umbrella.
An umbrella that, as it turns out, had a penetrating tip that contained the deadly poison ricin. Markov obliviously carried on his merry way, only to keel over and die a few hours later, when the murderers and the murder weapon were both far far away.
Number Two: Guitar String
This has earned its place as number two on this list from being plain gory/flat out disturbing. Not only did James Harris murder James Gerety with a guitar string; but he also spent at least two days prior torturing the man horribly after shooting him in the stomach.
After Harris finished torturing Gerety, he, in a particularly inventive move, decapitated him with a guitar string.
This is some ‘Final Destination’ level of horrifying death. It’s only made creepier by Harris’ girlfriends testimony that Harris then kept the head for weeks for some sort of religious practice that has never been fully explained.
One thing’s for sure though, there’s pretty much only one way that’s more twisted to go than decapitation by guitar string and that brings us to…..
The Weirdest Murder Weapon….
Number One: Death by Dildo
Ramon Navarro was a major star of the silent film era. He shot to fame after Rudolph Valentino’s death and became Hollywood’s biggest sex symbol. His death though, was less glamourous than his life.
Navarro was gay, which back in the 1940’s America was just as bad as being black; so it’s something Navarro liked to keep to himself. This also meant he had to rely on clandestine sexual encounters to satisfy his libido. One night in 1968, after hiring the two Ferguson brothers from an agency to come to his home, he quickly regretted this decision.
Having heard that Navarro kept a large amount of cash in his home they decided to rob him. Hours later and Navarro still refusing to give up the money’s location, the men became frustrated. Grabbing the lead Art Déco dildo presented to him by Rudolph Valentino, they shoved it down Navarro’s throat, forcing him to choke to death on his own blood.
If that doesn’t sum up Hollywood, I don’t know what will.